Looking Back - One Year Later

This has been an emotional week on many different levels.  All week I've been thinking how this time last year, things changed for our family forever.  Tomorrow is actually the year anniversary, but today is the "day" in my mind.  It was the Saturday after school started, I was drinking my coffee, sitting with the laptop in my lap, just as I am now, when the knock on the door happened.  I was getting ready to listen to the 21 Days of Prayer service, just like now.  How quickly things can happen, but how quickly God can restore what you think has been lost forever.

Thinking back, I've realized this week that a few things were instrumental in our lives.

1. Dependence - Pastor Blake, our campus pastor, discussed this at First Wednesday.  Until I was ready to let go and have total dependence on God, I couldn't completely feel His peace wash over me.  I had to cast all my cares on Him so He could care for me.  There was no way in my own power, or in the power of the doctors (we learned), that Charley was going to be healed.  We HAD to depend on God.
2. Prayer - Prayer was a constant.  In the 20 days that Charley was in NICU, we never had on the TV.  I don't recall reading anything.  People brought magazines and books, but I couldn't focus on anything but Charley.  There were people praying for him all the time, people in the waiting room, at church, at home.  When we didn't know how or what to pray, you were standing in the gap for us.  
3. Words - Words were so powerful.  The words I spoke had to be words of life.  Every night before leaving, I read healing scriptures over Charley.  Sometimes it was through tears and sobs, but they were read.  To and with the boys, words of life were spoken.  I feel like if I hadn't, I would have allowed satan a tiny foothold that he didn't deserve.  Words of encouragement from others were also vital.  They came pouring in at all times.  I wrote many of them down in my prayer journal so I could go back to them and read them over and over.  Every Facebook message, text message, CaringBridge post that was sent was read.  We couldn't reply back to them, but they were read and appreciated.  
4. Family - Our little family is so blessed to still be together.  I learned more about the strength of our family during this time.  My boys were so strong and took very good care of their mama.  My extended family, from my dad to aunts and uncles all stepped in and helped however they could.  My dad became a huge source of strength.  I couldn't have made it without him.  My "the church" family was amazing! One phone call to anyone is all it would have taken and anyone would be there.  

In closing, I want to emphasize something I have said before.  As Christians, we are not promised a worry or trouble free life.  What we are promised is that we will never be alone.  Each of the four points mentioned above have one thing in common, Jesus.  He's the common thread throughout.  I do not know how people experience any tragedy without the hope that He offers.  If you don't know Him, haven't experienced that hope, let me share my story with you.  Please allow me to share in more detail how He has changed my life.

This is my last post.  I'm looking forward to moving past this day and into a new year, full of more strides toward recovery for Charley.  We give all praise, honor, and glory to Him, because He alone deserves all praise for the miracle that is sitting next to me today.  Thank you to each of you who have gone on this journey with me, remembering the events of last year in order to give all praise to God!  May He bless each of you as you continue on your journey of faith.