Saturday, August 1, 2015

Saturday Morning Reflections

I had a direction I was going today, but I think God had a different idea.  In my quiet time this morning, I pulled out my prayer journal from Charley's time in the hospital.  Through my tears and grateful heart, I read through it.  Wow!  It's been a while since I've read it.  What memories it brings back.  Just to give you a glimpse, I want to post a few excerpts.

8/13 - Written to Charley
You would be so proud of Will and Ben.  They've just taken charge.  Will has gone home each night and taken care of the dogs and the house.  Ben has stepped right into the routine of school.  He started classes today.

So many people love you.  I wish I had kept a list of the visitors you've had to come see you. There have been SO many.  I was worried because we attend such a huge church that we wouldn't be ministered to.  Boy - was I wrong!  Before you ever left the trauma unit, Pastor Steve was there, as well as so many people from the Fultondale Campus.

8/16 - written to Charley
One week ago today our lives changed.  I've asked so many times - Why did you ride that day? Why was Kent not running in that triathlon? Why are we here? What are you doing God? I am so scared.  I want you back.  I'm not ready to do life on my own.

8/18
Father God,
I praise you and thank you for all of the miracles that have taken place up until today.  I thank you for the miracle that Charley even survived the wreck.  I know that you have many plans for him, plans for a future.  Your word promises us that.  I claim the fact that his future is not over.  I claim it in the name of Jesus.  I ask Father that you give us back the time that satan has tried to steal.  I ask that you bless our family over and over again with time back that we have lost as a result of this accident.  I pray right now for his brain to heal. I pray and rebuke any long term affects from the stroke on him physically, mentally, or emotionally.  You've told us to ask for these things in your name and I am asking for them in the name of Jesus. I ask that the nerve endings in Charley's brain begin to heal, that they begin working again.

Father, I need for his lungs to heal, for the secretions to be gone, for the staph infection to clear, in Jesus' name.  I know and have faith that you have a plan for our family.  You have promised good for those who believe your word and for those who love you.  Charley loves you.  I love you.  Will and Ben love you.  Lord, I am begging you to restore Charley to full and complete health, better than he was before.  I have faith that regardless of where I see Charley now that I will see him walking, active, being funny, all around himself, because you want all things good for your children.

I ask that his body stay healthy during the procedure tomorrow.  I ask that there be no complications or issues with his vocal chords, intestines, digestive system.  I ask that you protect every fiber of his body from complications and help him heal quickly.

Lord, I can't do this on my own.  I need you desperately.  I so scared and feel so alone sometimes.  These are unchartered waters for me.  I don't know what to do or how to handle it.  Please give me wisdom in making decisions.  Please whisper in my ear when decision time comes so I will know that I've made the best decision, guided by the Holy Spirit.

Please help me to stay focused so that I can see the prize at the end.  You will receive all honor and glory when Charley walks out of the hospital.  I know it will happen, and when it does, we are going to praise your Holy Name!

8/22/14 - written to Charley
God has been so faithful and good to us.  He is going to heal you! I believe that with all my heart.  I truly believe that you will walk out of this hospital without assistance.  I love you and am so proud of how you've fought your way back to us.  I am so thankful that God spared your life on 8/9/14.  I cannot imagine life without you.  We are so blessed to have you - me as my husband and the boys as their daddy.  Sleep well tonight.  Love you!

When Charley was injured on 8/9, he had multiple injuries.  Because he was struggling to breathe, he was placed on a vent.  He stayed on it for 12 days and then got a trach and feeding tube (the procedure referenced above).  He also had three brain bleeds, suffered a stroke, and had multiple seizures.  As a result of the accident, he had temporary paralysis on the right side of his body.  He was in a medically induced coma for a couple of weeks.  He developed pneumonia and tested positive for MRSA staph in his lungs.  He was a very sick man.  I tell you all of this so that you will see how miraculous God's healing was.  One of my posts will focus on "Dr. Doom" and his prognosis for Charley.  God had a different prognosis.

Our church was in the midst of the 21 Days of Prayer.  I would listen every morning as I was getting ready to head back to the hospital from my dad's house in Homewood.  On day 13, the Huntsville Campus pastor spoke about how we can't put our trust in man; we can only put our trust in God.  This became huge as doctor after doctor was giving me bad news.  The scripture he shared was from Zechariah 4:6, "Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty."  This became my theme verse throughout Charley's hospital stay.  He was injured on Day 6, so this message was early on in his recovery.

This past year has brought many changes, some expected, some not.  My total dependence on Christ and my walk with Him are two things that have grown as a result of Charley's accident.  He tells us in John 16:33 that we will have trouble in this world, so it's not an if but when.  However, we're not alone in that fight.  The rest of the verse says to take heart, that He has overcome the world. God is our partner.  I can tell you that there were many days that He carried me.  i never expected that knock on my door on that Saturday morning, but from the moment it happened, He was there.

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